One newborn or two?

I didn’t expect it to be easy, but I didn’t expect to be hard either. Call it naivety or blame it on the hormones – I’d expected life to go back to normal once my little one arrived. I’m not going to let her govern my life, I thought. She will adapt to mine. Thursday nights will be movie nights again and I’ll be back at work before the official end of my maternity leave.

Boy, was I in for a shock! It’s been five months and I haven’t stepped foot in a cinema and I just extended my maternity leave by three months. The first time my husband and I went out for dinner after the little one’s arrival, I called my mother (who was watching the baby for us) so many times that she threatened not to take any further calls from me. That’s when it hit me – I can leave the baby at home, at daycare, at her grandparents’ house, but she’s going to be with me always. Life isn’t going to go back to normal. Life is already normal – a new normal. A new normal for a new me.

My baby might’ve left my womb, but she’s now inhabiting my every thought. This is not the me that can spend the day shopping for myself or sit at the salon for hours on end. This is not the me I was five months ago. It seems that I’ve given birth not to one, but to two new human beings.

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